Father's Love Letter

My Child,
You may not know me,
but I know everything about you.
Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up.

Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways.

Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.

Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image.

Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being.

Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring.

Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived.

Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation.

Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake,
for all your days are written in my book.

Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth
and where you would live.

Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb.

Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born.

Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented
by those who don't know me.

John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry,
but am the complete expression of love.

1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.

1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child
and I am your Father.

1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.

Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father.

Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.

James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.

Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.

Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love.

Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless
as the sand on the seashore.

Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you.

Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession.

Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you
with all my heart and all my soul.

Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things.

Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart,
you will find me.

Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you
the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires.

Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you
than you could possibly imagine.

Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you
in all your troubles.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted,
I am close to you.

Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb,
I have carried you close to my heart.

Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away
every tear from your eyes.

Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain
you have suffered on this earth.

Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you
even as I love my son, Jesus.

John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.

John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being.

Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you,
not against you.

Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.

2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.

2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression
of my love for you.

1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved
that I might gain your love.

Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,
you receive me.

1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you
from my love again.

Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party
heaven has ever seen.

Luke 15:7

I have always been Father,
and will always be Father.

Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…
Will you be my child?

John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you.

Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad
Almighty God

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Two Ton Tillie

My phone buzzed the other day… I had a text. Enlightened that I saw it was from a close childhood friend. I was very eager to see what she had to see because we had not talked for awhile. My heart sunk and my mind instantly raced when I read the message.

The text read that another one of my childhood friend’s mother was very ill and needed prayer. Her life was coming to an end… I stood in silence for moments. My heart was being tugged, my thoughts were at war. A deep sadness for my friend, but a deeper sadness for myself.

I had not heard her name for over 15 years. My thoughts rushed back to myself as a very young little girl. Confronted with a grown woman pointing, laughing and calling me “two ton Tillie”. Now this woman was on her death bed, and God was telling me to forgive and pray for her. Here is my journey….

For the last year I have been struggling with weight loss and myself image has grown to blurry once again. Being sick and having found out that my thyroid was not working gave me hope that I could finally drop the excess weight. My hopes where high, I ate the right foods and exercised more. However, soon I was discouraged when I only had lost no more than my body had ever fluctuated.

I have been angry that all my efforts did not get me success but only defeat. My spirit has been trampled and crushed. I was aware that my thoughts were getting overwhelmed with what to eat, what not to eat, starring in the mirror and not liking what I see. Then back to eating whatever that I felt because my weight just stayed the same. My sadness, my anger, my defeat, and my self-hatred (because I just ate more) makes me eat more.

I could see that God was telling me that I needed to confront and conquer this problem that was becoming out of control. I could see that God was loving me the same, dropping convections into my life. I still struggled with food, and my hope was fading.

Then came the text… with no disrespect, I secretly hoped the words… two ton Tillie … would vanish with her passing. However, it didn’t. I prayed for her and my childhood friend. But honestly I prayed more for myself. And the little girl that still lives inside of me.

I know that at this time, I have been placing the words… two ton Tillie… neatly in my self image baggage, you know in the place where it is hidden. Having it’s presence but not seen or dealt with. I understand that not all people see me this way ( thank God, lol), it is how I see myself. It has been an issue all my life. I don't ever remember not using food as a crutch and not being happy with my body. I do think this experience has showed me that it is time to make that change.

I understand the fight has just began. Those three words are going to become empowering to me instead of defeating... I know with God, I will conquer and win this battle. For His strength is all I have…

Mat 26:41 (NIV) "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."

Being Real...

I just watched the excitement of my dear friend give her life to the Lord. She glowed of the Light of God. The tone of her voice was electrifying. Her story brought back the magnetic moments of my journey…

I remember the night that God lifted me out of the bottom of my pit. It truly is an event that is very hard to describe because of it being so personal and intimate. The fire that was started in my belly and the thirst for Jesus was so strong and passionate. Every minute of the day was consumed with my new found love.
Reading the bible, bible studies, church services, and talking of the new life I was delivered into.

To now, I am so thirsty and the fire is just ambers of warmth. I disappoint myself, when I think of God during the day and realize it was the first time. Church activities take second place to my children’s sporting events. I open the bible many times to start reading than my mind takes me into thinking about the days events and the list of “to do”. Sadly that seems that what my life has become. A “to do” list.

My heart is so very much in love with Jesus, there is no doubt with that. My mind struggles with the fact that I am not “there” and “there” is where I need to be. My soul is just thirsty, and longs for that intimacy…



Search me [thoroughly], O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!

                      And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalms 139:23-24

Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. John 6:35

Oh, How We have forgotten….

Most of the American population has seen the movie, The Ten Commandments. Yes, the one that Charlton Heston made Moses easy on the eye. The story of the Red Sea is pictured so well in this film. As I was listening to the story retold in church the other day, I started to realize that it is very parallel to our salvation. Here is my journey… 　
　
　
There was many Easters that the movie was watched in my childhood home. The miracles of God showed through the stories that were reenacted. We discussed how God stood the walls of water straight up… was plexi glass what held the water?? And if you touched the wall as you do in a tent on a rainy night would it start to leak?? The idea of getting to walk through the path to the other side was overwhelming and quit frightening.

The story starts with The Israelites in bondage to the Egyptians….
Exodus 2:23 During that long period, the king of Egypt died. The Israelites groaned in their slavery and cried out, and their cry for help because of their slavery went up to God.

I remember the times in my life that I wept thinking that if there was a God, let Him hear and remove me from my bondage. We all were born into sin, it is our bondage. Each day I would face my slave labor, try to numb my mind with TV, internet, alcohol, and sex. I wake up hopeless and ran through the day with no purpose and find myself there again the next.

What is unknown to us is that God is preparing our path… the places, the people, and the events that will occur. As He did Moses. The obedience of Moses lead the release into freedom for the Israelites, as Jesus’ obedience gave us the freedom to bondage of sin.

Standing at the Red Sea feeling trapped and looking to see the army of death coming after to you. With God being the only way out. I remember sitting alone one November evening. Facing my Red Sea. My drunkenness, carefree live was going to send me into a deeper Hell on earth or to death. I was drawn to Kirk Cameron on TV for I had a crush on him so many years ago. At that point I was experiencing the same as Israel, a great fear and unbelief.

Exodus 14:13-14 Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

I believe the moment I gave my heart to the Lord and truly believed, was the first step the Israelites took across the dry sea bed. The journey was so powerful, filled with awe and nothing could ever exceed that experience. My heart poured with joy and song as did for Moses and the Israelites…

Exodus 15:2 “The LORD is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation.
He is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him.

As God laid out the freedom, He asked of one thing…
Exodus 15:26 He said, “If you listen carefully to the LORD your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, who heals you.

Why is the freedom from bondage so easily forgotten??? Why is loving your God with all you heart, soul, and mind the last thing we thing of in a day???

It seemed instant the nation of Israel was complaining about water and food. Even though God gave them everything they needed for the day. They started to feel like ways of Egypt was so much easier.

I hate to admit that the struggle from my old self was very real. At times the numbing and self indulgence is very attractive. My heart was torn by the new found love and the comfort of the past. As the story of the Israelites freedom from Egypt shows God has a promised land for them, that He tests them and that they were just to obey and trust Him.

Sadly, it seems that we tend to do the same as they did. Complain and never are satisfied with our daily bread. Look at our Egypt and wish to go back. Forget what Jesus did on the cross for me. Makes me think that we are being tested in our freedom of bondage. And maybe the reason we don’t get to our promise land on earth is of the same reasons.

The one thing that keeps me on this side of the Red Sea is because I remember what God has done to get me here and what He has done since then. I tend to forget to often and start muttering about my situations. I have learnt that it is very important to REMEMBER. Remembrance is the key. Each day when are daily bread is handed to us let us remember and praise God for bringing us out of bondage.

John 6:35 Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.

　
　
　
　

Speechless

Psalms 59:16-17 But I will sing of your strength,
in the morning I will sing of your love;
for you are my fortress,
my refuge in times of trouble.
You are my strength, I sing praise to you;
you, God, are my fortress,
my God on whom I can rely.
　
　
I sit this morning in remembrance of what God has done for me. Who He is. What He is to me. All I can do is sit in awe.

No LACK... GOD's got my back!!

# 2 Why should I worry about my needs when I know that God will take care of all my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus? (Philippians 4:19)

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

 Philippians 4:19 (NIV)

Eight days I have been home with kids without pay. When I found out that the flu had hit our house I knew with five kids living under my roof I could be in for the long haul. As the only income into the house is through me the first thing I thought was “oh no, what about my paycheck!!!”

Then a settle peace came over me because I have sat in a deeper debt once in my life. And God provided all that I needed at that time….

When I separated from my husband and took on the full responsibility of a house and my children, there was a large debt attached to the marriage. Since my kids where still young that meant that I had to pay for daycare. The financial burden was great.

I remember as a new Christian learning quickly that God supplied all that I needed. He may not of handed me the new quarter of a million dollar home or brand new mustang that I would of looked really good in. But He did supply everything that I needed.

I don’t ever remember going hungry, unclothed, cold or unsheltered. I do remember the time that my van was stalling ever time it rained, but knew that my finances and credit could not support a different vehicle. Because I had went into the bank for a loan a month before. And one day God had me stop to look at a different vehicle that I ended up paying $10 less a month on payment.

There also was a time that I sat on my back porch facing the electricity being cut off. Laying it in God’s hands before I went to bed. The next morning going to the mailbox finding a refund check for an overpayment for the exact price of the bill owed. Still today when I get an unexpected check I think of how God supplies all your needs.

There was a time that I had a complete stranger walk up to me and hand me a check for the amount that I needed for another bill. She would of never known the burden of my heart at the time and why would you ever had anyone $98. Wouldn’t you round it up to $100. It is because it was God writing that check. He knew exactly what I needed.

God has been this way always, look at Abraham when God provided a new sacrifice to replace Isaac, or those many years in the desert for the Hebrews after coming out of Egypt, and do we forget how He provided for Joseph and his family.

Before I close, personally think I need to add, that I learnt how to tithe and do it willingly. Which that could be a whole other story. But lean on God for all your needs… He will take care of you as a father takes care of his children and a shepherd takes care of his flock. I know that I would not have gotten though it without God. Thank you, Lord, for blessing me.

I don’t fear lack because God has shown me that He has my back. So this time away from work taking care of my house.. God is taking care of us too….
　
God Bless.

There is a way out???

#12 Why should I feel condemned when the Bible says there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus? (Romans 8:1)

Romans 8:1 (NIV) Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus..

Last week, I came aware that there was a secret being kept in my house. With a little investigation I found out that my youngest son, cursed at a couple of the boys in my house to get them to settle down and to be quiet then threatened to break their toys if the “secret” was told to me.

I could see an attitude change of my youngest within the last week. He was tightly wound and on the edge at all times. I couldn’t pin point the reason, but again I didn’t know this secret that laid on his heart.

With the knowledge of this secret I sat all five boys down to teach a lesson of grace and forgiveness. I started that there are two kinds of secrets: good and bad. Exampling that good secrets are knowing a gift that someone is going to get at their birthday party, and bad to be ones that should be said because someone could get hurt or has been hurt.

I then went into what is not excepted behaviors. I spoke it in general because I really wanted to see the reactions on everyone’s face. I could see my son’s face sadden and sag into his chest. Then I asked “if you feel as though you have something to say, it is your turn to speak.”

He raised his face slowly and spoke up softly. “ I do, mom”. You could still see the shame and guilt on his face. But he went to confess all that he did in those moments. The pressure that was burdening him started to lessen, but until the boys involved forgave him, he was not totally free.

Later in speaking with my son, he said that it was hard to admit that he did such a bad thing to hurt someone else, but he was scared that he would face a lot of trouble if he admitted it. So he wanted to hide it at all costs.

He was condemning himself, and feared the condemnation of me. I know that this is something I face as a walk with God. I tend to feel the worst of my motivations are too big for the grace and forgiveness of God. Holding onto them tightly and hiding them the best I can. Causing myself to live in a secret convicting world of my own.

Through the past, I have had to admit to wrongs that I have done. And learnt that telling the truth and being honest relieved that convection. The beginning of chapter 8 of Romans speaks that Jesus set you from the disapproval and sentence that is rightfully ours. Even though God knows everything about us: what we feel, think, and do. Because of Jesus’ victory over sin, God will not lay the sentence of Hell on us that the sinful flesh deserve.

My son was holding on to his mistake because he didn’t want to be punished and found when he told the truth, that he was loved and that he truly learnt a lesson through this event. As his mother I was very proud of his honesty, and could see that he had punished himself enough.

I belief that is how God sees us, as a child that messed up. However, His love is so great for us that He doesn’t want anything more from us than to love Him and to learn our lessons. So in our futures we don’t relive it again.

My question to you is what are you holding on to?? What is that deep secret that you are uncomfortable to admit too? Have you tore yourself apart secretly inside, thinking that God will never forgive you?

There is not secret from God, He knows what you are trying to hide from Him. He just wants you to know that Jesus already served your sentence for you. It’s time for you to be set free from it….
　
　
God’s love holds us up, comforts us, forgives, and processes to love us more.