Suicide does not equal Hell

I have one question for you… What is the only thing that keeps you from Heaven???
Please, take a moment and think of your answer. Knowing the true answer might change your life.
　
Walk with me through my journey…

I walked into my friend’s house, as I did so many times, finding her lifeless. I wasn’t shocked by her death, she was an older woman at the end of her life. Many conversations within the last year, she had talked about wanting the pain to stop and how she was awaiting death. Within that 24 hours she talked about, how she had reconciled everything with God and was ready to go home.

I went to bed that evening thinking that she was probably going to fall into deep sleep waking in God’s presences. I arrived with another reality. My dear friend had taken her life. I remember, standing in shock when I saw her. I don’t know how long I stood there.

Emotions … Every one of them engulfed me.

The hours to follow were mere blur. Police, ambulances, family, friends, memories…

Arriving home, with the only truth that I knew… SUICIDE EQUALS HELL, the guilt was so bounding. I couldn’t even move. I keep thinking I should of said more to her, I should of stayed that night so she wouldn’t of been alone. I know if I would of known, I would of never left her.

My only prayer was “why”.

Our faithful God, as He always does, shows us the truth. I had to make a phone call to an friend, which happens to be an ex pastor. I didn’t even have to say my burden and the Holy Spirit spoke right though him. My friend’s question to me was the same one that I asked you before. What is the only thing that keeps you from going to Heaven?

The answer is the denial of Jesus. That is the only thing that keeps you from Heaven.

John 3:16 (NIV) For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

It’s not sin, Jesus defeated sin by hanging on the cross and being rose three days later. Self- murder is a sin not a belief.

I have an idea, why she would of choose to end her life. The one thing is that I can not tell you the state of her thinking in her private times, the demonic forces that taunted her, and her spiritual condition. Only God can judge and truly know the spiritual condition of her soul and know her final decisions of belief, as in any case of suicide.

After hearing how the day before her death played out, I could not help but wonder why me. There was other people that could of found her after her last breath. Why do so many times, I close my eyes and see her face, lifeless. Why was I placed in the moment, why not someone else? I believe with all my heart that everything happens for a reason and there is nothing untouched by God.

I closed my eyes one day, and heard God’s whisper say to me. “See her face, don’t let her death be in vain. Open your mouth and go tell.” My life will be ever changed, I have a close relationship with our Heavenly Father. I just never told anyone. I now have a deep desire to know where my friend’s and families’ souls are going after death. So every time, I close my eyes and see her, my purpose in this event is right in front of me.

As a hind sight, I can recognizes that there was a couple of times she tried before. To be disappointed because she opened her eyes to me, not her Heavenly Father. I didn’t see her attempts before, I wasn‘t suppose to. Someone else could have been the one to find her, but I would of never found a new purpose, and been motivated to find a way to make her death not be in vain. Must of all I would of never had discovered that I carried a lie around so many years. The truth SUICIDE DOES NOT EQUAL DEATH would not of replaced it.

Overall, I want to say… suicide is never easy. It effects so many. After my involvement in this suicide, my heart has deep compassion for the family, friends, community, and all that have to walk down this path. It is hard to close your eyes to see the image of death, fight off guilt of not saying, loving or being there enough, or understanding why.

If I can give you encouragement in that, God is in complete control and He knows so much more than we can ever image. We don’t always know why, but He promises us peace beyond understanding.

Dear God, I pray that your peace be with the family, friends, community and all that walk down the path of a suicide loss. I ask Heavenly Father that you will make good out of this death, that the death will be used for the good of your kingdom. I ask that you will hold, comfort, and guide the ones that are overwhelmed with guilt, loss or confusion. Heavenly Father, we thank you for the time that we got to spend with our dear loved one, thank you for allowing us to be a part of their lives and all the blessing from their presence. Thank you for being here in our time of loss. In Jesus name, Amen.

Job 12:10 (NIV) In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.