Many Hats of a Single Mom

I wear many hats… as an employee, a daughter, a friend, a single mom. That list could go on and on. I believe though the most hats I wear has to be when it comes to me being a single mom. Here is my journey…

I became a single mom at Christmas time of 2001. My boys were two and four years old. It was as though I packed my bag with a new amount of hats that I would be wearing over the next years. As any single parent knows, there is many roles that are needed to be filled.

Cook, maid, teacher, disciplinary, judge, nurse, chauffer, comforter, head of house and bread winner. I am sure that there is even a lot of two parent homes that do those roles alone also. However, I have found that there is one hat that has been very hard for me to wear. It is the daddy cap.

This cap seems to be too big, no matter how I try to distort it. It seems to always be to big to fill. When I place it on, I turn into the character that is spilt down the middle - female on one half and male on the other. I battle with the fact that I am trying to raise my boys, as a woman acting like a man. And said like that makes it sound very frightening.

I have many of times horse played with my boys, just as boys do. Then wondering if I am actually showing them how to be a man, or if I am showing them how to treat a woman. The daddy cap is tricky one. In our case, the boy’s biological father has is absent in their life. They have seen him on a couple occasions and get a rare phone call. But they don’t have him to model being a man after.

I have been told that a woman can not raise a boy, by more than one person. Statically it is proven that majority of boys don’t succeed in single mother homes. It humbles me to know that I can not do it by myself. It has been shown to me time and time again that I am not equipped. But I know who is and I rely on Him to fill the hat that I can not. His name is Jesus.

I giggle because the story sounds so defeated, but I know better. First, God is our father. Even when our earthly one is absent. The love that God shows to my children is unimaginable. As their mother I can not even love them as much as God does. I have seen my children receive His love, His peace, His comfort. When I first was handed this cap, I had a strong argument with God. I yelled at Him, saying, “why , would you put me in this position, if I can never wear the hat.” He said to me, “it is not for you, it is for me to wear.”

It has not always been easy for my boys and I. But God never said it was going to be easy. Nevertheless, God has delivered in all of our needs. Isaiah 54:13 states All your children will be taught by the LORD, and great will be their peace. How can I ask anything more than that?

Without being bias, my boys are growing into very respectful, honest, trustworthy young men. I have been blessed by wonderful male mentors for the boys through coaches. Overall, the boys are learning a lesson from their loss of an earthy father, which will mold them into the fathers that they will be in the future.

In my journey, I am so happy that God told me to hand Him that daddy cap. It makes it so much easier to wear the bouquet of motherhood.