Why did I ask?!?

My prayers ask God to show me the way, who I am and what my purpose is… Every prayer has a plea for an answer. Then when He tells me what I have begging for… sometimes I say “Why did I ask!?!.”
Here is some of my journey…

Have you ever been so determined to have God answer a question to get an answer that you were not expecting? This has happened so many times in my walk with God.. . I have been removing things from the life that are distractions, like playing City Ville on Face book, long endless phone calls, and washing dishes. Dishes?!? Yes, dishes, I found that buying a cheap disposable plates saves me a lot of time in a day. LOL The wasted time has been consciously transferred into time spent with God. The presence of God is where I find a lot of my questions answered.

I can omit freely that I have been desiring a marriage relationship for awhile now. Lately, the big question has been, “ God when will you grant me a husband.” I was sitting the other day realizing that it has been 9 years since my ex husband and I separated. It has not been always an easy road but I always believed that God has always had me in the right place. Since my recent trip on the dating path, my desire had been getting stronger.

As the time passes, I have found myself asking the question even more. The answers that God has given me have not been my life mate in front of me. That would be way to easy….

God has showen me how my health needs improving. He has showed me that our relationship, the most important, is a demonstration of a marriage and it needs some work. Then the big one… He told me, what is wrong with me and the things I need to work on. WHAT?!? I asked for a partner not a mirror to look into.
I wonder why I even asked… Now I need to work on my health, become more intimate with God, AND work on ME.

As so often, my stubbornness perks up in me. I stomped my feet saying, I have been working on me for 9 years. I think that is enough. As God replies “Yes, and stubbornness is one of the things you need to add to your list to work on.”

In my walk with God, He has not always answered the questions the way that I wanted Him too. Actually, it was very rare that it happened that easy. I have gotten YES, NO and here is something BETTER as an answer. But, no matter which one, a time to wait, a sacrifice that needed to happen, or a lesson that needed to be taught has been attached to it. Nevertheless, every time I received exactly what I needed… at the right time and being matured in the process.

Even though, I have not enjoyed some answers, the waiting, or the self reflection, I have come to realize that God has my best interest in mind. Knowing that it is important that I must take the time for the things God has presented to me. To be obedient to his requests. And in some odd way knowing that He is preparing me for something great.

What have you been asking God for? Are you getting the answer that you have been looking for? Do you have faith that God has the perfect plan? Is God able?

Ephesians 3:19- 20 (Amp) 19 [That you may really come] to know [practically, through experience for yourselves] the love of Christ, which far surpasses mere knowledge [without experience]; that you may be filled [through all your being] [unto all the fullness of God [may have the richest measure of the divine Presence, and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself]! 20 Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]--

Do you dare ask???